Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
