My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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