Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
