it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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