We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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