dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
