God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
