It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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