that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
