we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
