how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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