No awkward lesbian experiences without me
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
