roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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