ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
