problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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