distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
