How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
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