who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
