drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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