Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
