that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
