I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
