I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
this is an emotional support booty call
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
