Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
