She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
