It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
