i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
