mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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