And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
