the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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