you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Who died my cat blue again?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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