In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
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I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I came so hard my ears popped.
God, I missed his penis.
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