nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way