I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
