so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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