She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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