He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
