i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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