omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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