there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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