i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
