Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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