This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
