I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't deserve a penis
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
