you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
