Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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