I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
