he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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