would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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