Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
