I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize