I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
