hell yes lets make some ravioli
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
