I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
