good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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