Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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