Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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