So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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