Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize