i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
