Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
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like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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