I didn't shave. On purpose
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
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