They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
