Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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