I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
