The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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