How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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