Do you still have your period?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
