3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
